11.20.2008

the andy rooney game

Want a fun game to play? Just take out everything but the first and last sentence Andy Rooney says on A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney and you've got yourself a poignant and humorous sentiment! Ha, jk. Actually, you realize how incoherent this cute old man really is.

via comedian Joe Mande's youtube













Also, Andy Rooney quotes (he said these things, teehee!):

"Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads."

"I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you."

"Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives."

"The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."

"The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread."

"When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper."

And my favorite: "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."

That's way too far over my head, folks.

1 comment:

Audrey said...

haha, gaaa, amazing